wellbeing | davanti counselling

Can shopping be therapeutic?

There’s a reason they call it ‘retail therapy’: going shopping for something because you want to, not because you need to, can certainly put a spring in your step. Shopping, in short, can be a short-term mood booster.

The number of people who shop to feel better is rather high. An Ebates.com survey of 1,000 Americans found that 64% of women and 40% of men indulge in retail therapy. Women generally shop for clothes and men for food. And more than a third of American women believe retail therapy improves their mood, compared with a fifth of men. A separate study by psychologists found that 62% of people had bought something to cheer themselves up – and they didn’t feel guilty afterwards.

There’s some food for thought (or should that be shoes for thought?) in this Time article Is retail therapy for real? Five ways shopping is actually good for you. It says shopping can be relaxing, creative, enlivening, confidence-inspiring and a way of connecting with people. It quotes therapist Peggy Wynne saying that shopping, in moderation, can “soothe the soul”.

The key word here is moderation. If shopping becomes a habit, or addictive, or an excuse for not getting on with your life, then it won’t be therapeutic at all. But otherwise there’s no reason why you shouldn’t allow a perfect little purchase to brighten your day.

Later-life crisis creates ‘silver sufferers’, says research

A later life crisis can be transformative in a positive or negative way. (pic: istockphoto.com/belory4ka)

Move over, mid-life crisis. It’s the later-life crisis that’s becoming more of a concern for the helping profession. A third of people say they’ve had a life crisis in their 60s, in research by University of Greenwich psychologist Dr Oliver Robinson. How they respond to the crisis can determine the quality of the rest of their lives.

Men and women experience life crisis equally, with 32% of male respondents and 33% of female saying they’d had a life crisis since the age of 60. Reasons for the crisis – which is defined as two or more stressful events – include bereavement, illness or injury – as well has caring for a loved one who is ill or disabled.

A life crisis can trigger an existential anxiety about frailty and death. People can either respond by living life to the full and enjoying every moment, or they can become withdrawn and increasingly isolated.

Dr Robinson says: “It seems that when loss-inducing events occur together or in close proximity in time, a person’s capacity to cope in their 60s is overwhelmed and a later life crisis is precipitated. This range of reactions suggests that later life crisis is always transformative, but this transformation can lead towards either growth or decline.”

Have a laugh on April Fool’s Day. It’s good for you

How often do you throw your head back and laugh? (pic: istockphoto.com/sunstock)

If you’ve been on the lookout for April Fool’s Day pranks, then some of the jokes may have given you a good laugh (or you may have found them foolish and ignored them). But how many times do you really let yourself go and have a good laugh?

Admittedly you may not have much to laugh about, but there’s a movement called Laughter Yoga that aims to get you laughing hysterically and feel better in the process. The Laughter Club in Devon says that laughing is good for “improving mood, reducing pain, increasing oxygen levels, reducing blood pressure, improving self-esteem, and releasing endorphins”.

It’s sad when you think that children laugh hundreds of times a day, and yet adults could probably count on two hands the number of times they laugh. Something to ponder on a day that’s meant to be funny.

Here are a couple of my favourite quotes about laughing:

Victor Hugo: “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”
Michael Pritchard: “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.”

Looking at old photographs can cheer you up

Reminiscing over old photographs can soothe your emotions.

Looking through old photographs can be good for your mental health and your memory. Even flicking through your pics and posts on Facebook can boost your wellbeing, according to new research.

The University of Portsmouth found that three-quarters of people they studied looked at their own photos on Facebook when they were feeling low so they could ‘self-soothe’. It can be comforting to reminisce about happier times, she says, and looking at your pics can be “as soothing as a walk in the park”.

Psychologist Dr Clare Wilson from the University of Portsmouth says looking at our photos is a way of connecting with our past selves when our present selves need reassurance. She adds: “When in the grip of a negative mood, it is too easy to forget how good we often feel. Our positive posts can remind us of this.”

This form of ‘reminiscence therapy’ – connecting with old memories to self-soothe and help stop depressive moods getting worse – can be practised anytime, anywhere: the study showed that 70% of people prefer to access their Facebook photos and posts via their phones.

Remember to count your blessings on International Happiness Day

Happy International Happiness Day. The UN has decreed that the globe will be happy today. It has decided that a nation’s happiness will no longer be decided by its success or power but by the compassion and wellbeing of its people.

But I think happiness is more personal and a subtle than a group hug that wraps its arms around the globe. It’s an initiative to applaud, but each person’s happiness is surely individual? How do you define happiness? By reaching out to help someone? By having more meaning in your life? By spending time with loved ones? Or are you seeking that elusive happiness through work, relationships, money, belongings and status symbols?

Action for Happiness – “a movement for positive social change” – helpfully provides 10 keys to happier living. It also says that happiness comes from being grateful for what you’ve got rather than looking to all the things you’re living without. It says that “people who are grateful tend to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled”.

So perhaps today is for a day for counting our blessings. In the words of Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray, perhaps we can appreciate “the moments of life that is itslef but a moment”.

Stop pursuing happiness if you want to be happy, say psychologists

Call off the pursuit of happiness if you want to be happy, say psychologists (pic: istockphoto.com/michaklootwijk)

It sounds a cruel irony, but if you put too much pressure on yourself to be happy it can have totally the opposite effect, according to psychologists. Focusing on your own fulfilment rather than your connections with others can leave you feeling lonely, they say.

Researchers from the University of Denver and the University of California, Berkeley, asked people to fill out an online questionnaire to gauge how far they valued happiness. They then filled out journals at the end of the day, reporting on stressful events during the day and how stressed and lonely they felt about them. The results showed that the higher someone values happiness, the lonelier they feel during a stressful event – regardless of their age, gender or background.

A second part of the experiment tested whether prioritising happiness is the cause of loneliness, asking people to watch a film clip after reading an article about the importance of happiness. Again, those who had higher expectations of happiness ended up feeling disappointed. The research authors say: “A desire for happiness can lead to reduced happiness and wellbeing. It may be that to reap the benefits of happiness people should want it less.”

This study backs up recent research from Germany suggesting that pessimists have a longer, happier life than optimists.

But rather than pessimism or optimism, perhaps it’s realism – and being grateful for what we have rather than continually wanting something more – that leads to real happiness? I’m reminded of the quote from Epictetu: “A wise man is he who does not grieve for the thing which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Gaming improves wellbeing in older generation, says academic study

Psychologists say older people who play video games are happier than those who don’t. (pic: istockphoto.com/Feverpitched)

You might traditionally expect people around retirement age to favour pursuits like crosswords, bridge, bowls or knitting. But scientists have shown that people aged 60-plus are active in more unusual ways. They’ve found that the senior generation who play video games are happier than those who don’t.

Psychologists from North Carolina State University in the US researched ‘Successful aging through video games‘ with 140 people aged 63 and over. They wanted to discover the differences in emotional wellbeing and depression between older adults who play video games and older adults who don’t game at all.

They found that older people who played video games regularly or occasionally had higher levels of wellbeing and fewer incidence of depression compared with older people who aren’t gamers. “Findings suggest that playing may serve as a positive activity associated with successful aging,” concluded the researchers.